lost.

lost.

I ask myself have I done my best and the answer is, yes and no. I have studied for this test the best i know how to but yet I know it is still inadequate. And that is why I still stumbled at the two questions which everyone else found easy.

Am I sad? Yes I am. Can I pick up the pieces and move on? I am trying to. Easier said than done!

---

I wonder, deep inside is there anyone I can turn to in times like this?

Is there anyone who really cares and is willing to listen?

As far as I know, now, NO and therefore I must continue to plod on, fighting this solo battle till god-knows-when.

---

Why am i hurting those who are closest to me?

---
My faith. Not so long ago, this blog title was actually a theological statement. Back then, I professed to put my trust in some higher being but my actions were completely different.

Do I still subscribe to the same faith? Yes, I do in the sense that I believe in the existence of God who created the universe and sent His Son down to die for our sins. I go to church every sunday (well, ok, almost every sunday) etc, all the trappings etc. But do i lead what my peers define as a victorious christian life? answer yes or no.

Those of you out there who know me better will know that i am going through a rough patch in my life. This blog title, my own world may be changed soon because my world is gradually starting to fall apart.

maybe i should change it to "my own world :("

why should i even bother to type this? will people listen? NO so the answer is NO, i shall not bother to type anymore.

Feedback on wasteful practices within NUS

Dear Sir/Mdm,

Please help to redirect to the proper authority if not under your
purview

Feedback No.1
I would like to highlight a wasteful practice in NUS by the NUS
admin, NUSSU and the Yong Siew Toh Conservatory of Music (YSTCM).

NUS publishes their quarterly newsletter, Knowledge Enterprise which
is also available online. NUSSU publishes a magazine titled ''The
Ridge'', and YCTSM prints postcard-sized flyers to publicise their
upcoming events. The various Faculties also have their own newsletter.

All these publications are placed at various locations in NUS for
distribution to the staff and student population. However, I have
observed that
More often than not, very few people take the materials, and when a
new edition comes out, these are simply thrown away.

Currently, the online version of Knowledge Enterprise is publicised
to NUS students and staff via e-mail.

The cost of printing these materials would inevitably be passed down
to the students as ''increased operating costs''.

As we have had two undergraduate fee hikes in as many years, and it
seems that another one is likely, I would strongly urge the NUS
administration to first cut down on wasteful practices like this,
before deciding on a fee increase.

Proposed Solution:
- For the Knowledge Enterprise, since an electronic version is
already available on the NUS website, we can do away with the
hardcopy version. Users can just hit the ''print'' button should they
be interested in a hardcopy version.
- Likewise for the YCTSM, instead of printing postcard-sized flyers,
posters could instead be used and put up on the many noticeboards in
NUS. I am pretty sure this will generate the required publicity
without incurring additional cost.
- For The Ridge and the various faculty newsletters, an online
version (publicised by e-mail perhaps) would suffice. No need for a
hardcopy version.

Feedback No.2
In NUS, many lights and air-conditioners in the common areas such as
labs, are kept on 24-hours.

I am pretty sure this wastage applies in other tertiary institutions
and public buildings.

This wastage of electricity will inevitably be passed down to the
students as increased operating costs, given that electricity tariffs
have only been rising over the years.

Proposed Solution:
- Implement electronic timing system to switch off the lights and air
conditioning during periods of low usage. There should of course be a
motion sensor to override this when there is a user in the vicinity.
Perhaps this can be an FYP topic for the Computing / Computer
Engineering students to take up...
- As for the common areas, it is understandable that the lights
should be on due to security reason, but it is possible to only
switch on some of the lights?

I hope that by looking into these issues, we can help the University
to save money and reduce wastage.

Something interesting.

> READ THIS SLOWLY - IT'S A KEEPER FOR SURE. THERE ARE
> SO MANY TRUTHS IN IT.
>
> I believe-
> That we don't have to change friends if we
> understand that friends change.
> I believe-
> That no matter how good a friend is, they're
> going to hurt you every once in a while and you must
> forgive them for that.
>
> I believe-
> That true friendship continues to grow, even
> over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
>
>
> I believe-
> That you can do something in an instant that
> will give you heartache for life.
>
> I believe-
> That it's taking me a long time to become the
> person I want to be.
>
> I believe-
> That you should always leave loved ones with
> loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
>
> I believe-
> That you can keep going long after you can't.
>
> I believe-
> That we are responsible for what we do, no
> matter how we feel.
>
> I believe-
> That either you control your attitude or it
> controls you.
>
> I believe-
> That regardless of how hot and steamy a
> relationship is at first, the passion fades and
> there had better be something else to take its
> place.
>
> I believe-
> That heroes are the people who do what has to
> be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the
> consequences.
>
> I believe-
> That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
>
> I believe-
> That my best friend and I can do anything or
> nothing and have the best time.
>
> I believe-
> That sometimes the people you expect to kick
> you when you're down, will be the ones to help you
> get back up.
>
> I believe-
> That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right
> to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to
> be cruel.
>
> I believe-
> That just because someone doesn't love you the
> way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love
> you with all they have.
>
> I believe-
> That maturity has more to do with what types of
> experiences you've had and what you've learned from
> them and less to do with how many birthdays you've
> celebrated.
>
> I believe-
> That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by
> others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive
> yourself.
>
> I believe-
> That no matter how bad your heart is broken the
> world doesn't stop for your grief.
>
> I believe-
> That our background and circumstances may have
> influenced who we are, but we are responsible for
> who we become.
>
> I believe-
> That just because two people argue, it doesn't
> mean they don't love each other. And just because
> they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
>
> I believe-
> That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a
> secret. It could change your life forever.
>
> I believe-
> That two people can look at the exact same
> thing and see something totally different.
>
> I believe-
> That your life can be changed in a matter of
> hours by people who don't even know you.
>
> I believe-
> That even when you think you have no more to
> give, when a friend cries out to you, you
> will find the strength to help.
>
> I believe-
> That credentials on the wall do not make you a
> decent human being.
>
> I believe-
> That the people you care about most in life are
> taken from you too soon.

____________________________________________________________________________________
8:00? 8:25? 8:40? Find a flick in no time
with the Yahoo! Search movie showtime shortcut.
http://tools.search.yahoo.com/shortcuts/#news

Volunteer Fatigue?

Recently certain events have transpired in the organisation which I am serving as a volunteer which made me think about the real reason why I am doing all these. And I am not alone...

After reading the newspaper articles recently about a few volunteer organisations and the skeletons in the closet.. I couldn't help but wonder if there are skeletons on our closet as well, a time bomb waiting to explode?

Moreover, our niche is slowly but surely being enroached on by other independent, even government supported organisations.

Where do we see ourselves in 10 years' time?

The 'people up there' have to renew their mentality or else 1. the 'people down there' will vote with their feet and 2. more importantly, other organisations with more renewed mentality will take over our niches.

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to anything or anyone dead or alive is purely coincidental.

Gong Xi Fa Cai

To all my friends and associates, a Happy and Prosperous Lunar New Year of the Pig. May the Year of the Golden Pig bring wealth, prosperity but most importantly health, for without that we cannot enjoy any of the former.

handball.

I ditched my mugging plans yesterday (okay, was unwell also) for a
date with the doctor and the handball team later in the day.

And boy, i was not disappointed. The handball finals was a real
exciting one right from start to finish... and we won by the thinnest
of margins , 19-18!

SEP

okay something apart from my usual dronings, i've been offered an SEP place at University of Durham (UK)!

My parents seem pretty supportive but i have the following reservations:

1. it's a full year SEP.
2. module mapping. if i can't map my design project there, all bets are probably off. i am so definitely NOT going to do design project concurrently with FYP :P
3. hall. i will miss out on year 3 when that will be the time when my batch will be the most active in hall. i may or may not be able to come back in year 4 (which i'll need for fyp)...
4. Going for SEP will freeze my cap and based on my calculation, if i go even a 2-1 will be out of the question. to push to 2-2, i will have to work very hard during my FY...
5. And of course, financial considerations. But hey, i won't get this chance again... if i want to go there for my Postgrad it will cost even more...

Anyway, the deadline to accept the offer was today, so I accepted it provided the module mapping goes smoothly...

----

Edit: It did not, there are simply too many problems especially with the selection of modules and the mapping of MCs. For this reason, NUS FoE has not sent any student to Durham University before

Why are we not performing?

An oft-heard lament especially in NUS Engineering is that the foreigners are the ones who get all the good grades. Well, checking out the Dean's list, I found to my surprise indeed that most of the names are local (or Malaysian - which can be considered 'local' in this context) sounding names. Especially for my year, there were only one or two names which were distinctly foreign. Even for those so-called 'foreigner strongholds' like EE and Chem Eng, majority of the names are still local...

The conclusion? We are not working hard enough... Then when we get poor results, we blame it on the international students who 'spoil market' which is a fallacy in itself.

True? I guess it's just that we are unwilling to blame ourselves for not working hard enough. If other locals can do it, why can't we?

So it's not the foreign students who kick the butts of the local students. That's a fallacy. So we must stop having this inferiority complex / defeatist mindset that "we are no match for the foreign students talent..."

Another myth I believed in is that those who stay in hall will not have good grades. Disproven by the dean listers i have met who ALSO are active in hall (two were even from JCRC, you know who you are...)

So the bottom line is why are we believing in all these myths and having defeatist mindset when the truth is that we can do as well as we want to?

welcome to week 5

week 5... and i am lagging quite bad...

paid my first visit to the central library today.. guess that will be my in-between-lecture haunt fron now on. :S

but on the bright side, i managed to grasp some new concepts today. now to hone them more...